Mentally and emotionally top performers seem to be more resilient, less vulnerable, and more likely to sustain performance over the long day-to-day grind that is the reality of professional life. However, no one of us is immune to the pain and pitfalls of life. We pick up baggage and self-limiting beliefs along the way, without even realizing it. Even the "luckiest" of us suffer and struggle at certain times. And I am noticing in my praxis, that in the world of high performance leaders, there are some issues that come up more often and that are quite common.
As a serial Entrepreneur and former Head of International Business Development, I am very familiar with daily stress, the pressure to perform, and the demands of everyday life. In situations where there appears to be a standoff, a high performer is much more capable of shouldering the burden. Therefore I have a great appreciation for their inner transformative journey.
LOAD OF RESPONSIBILITIES
What is often invisible, whether at work or in relationships is the amount of responsibilities and decision making, that they carry. So often times they're at the head of businesses, whether that's their own or at the corporate executive level. And they've got many of teams to manage and they've got a lot of deadlines which don't let them sleep peacefully at night. And so what they're struggling with is the weight of this responsibility. Oftentimes it's what meaning they attach to the situation if they don't deliver.
Another issue that come up very often is the loneliness - it troubles many successful top executives: a recent study by Harvard Business Review found that 50 per cent of CEOs have performance issues because of loneliness. They have no one to talk to. They have no space from which they can express their fears, express their vulnerabilities. They don't even know how to do that! Everyone is looking to them to be strong and have the answers.
It's lonely at the top.
And so one of the things that I am devoted to as a transformative coach, is that space for them to be human, and to be real. In this space, there is room for all objections, fears, and doubts as and when they emerge. This is exactly how I can help as transformative coach. Someone who holds that space for everything that requires attention and cannot be expressed anywhere else.
STRESS & ADDICTIONS
Another issue that comes up is being overwhelm and often stressed, and I would even go as far to say it's an addiction to the busyness. So many high performers are literally living on adrenaline. They are driven by this feeling that they get from adrenaline. And there's a real fear of what would happen if they slow down. It's a hard thing for them to do because there is this addiction to busyness and work, or maybe other unwanted habits.
However, when they do slow down, it opens up a space for clarity, new doors and new ideas, creativity and everything else.
There's always something that tends to be common for them: as a child they've had to act and perform in a certain way in order for them to be enough, to receive love and to have significance. And that attitude they carry on into their adulthood, because it absolutely served them!
You don’t know what you don’t know.
However... approaching life the way they did is not what's going to get them to the next level. To move into the zone of true Core, it is required to shift from doing what you know to do, to doing what you are inspired to do. It requires the next level of experiencing and feeling - the new level of Core being.
Without the noise they are then able to look in another direction, see new perspective, an be open for an insight. This insight, something even they haven't brought through before, might drop in during the coaching session. It may happen when walking down the street or it may drop in a week's time.
Most valuable things for my client is for them to have the space to explore different directions, without any kind of judgment of other people on their teams or someone in their life thinking that they've gone crazy. It is a really a place for them to explore, develop the ideas and align with the energies with which they can go out in the world and create, expand and shift their model of reality to meet the expansiveness of their vision.
Are men different when it comes to connecting with their inner world?
In short, I learned through my executive coaching experience that men, just like women, are struggling to be themselves. However, what stroke me is this statistic, published in New York Times article, that states:
...as men continue to fall behind women in college while outpacing them four to one in the suicide rate, some colleges are waking up to the fact that men may need to be taught to think beyond their own stereotypes...
Most male clients come in because they know they're "in trouble", but more often than not, they don't know what exactly is going on inside and how to get out of it or how to solve this inner conflict. Talking about the difference between men and women, a colleague showed me a home video he had found online: a small boy getting his first vaccinations. The father says: “Boys don’t cry! You are a man!”. This illustrates one of these cliches, how boys are raised, sometimes with the best of intentions, to suppress their emotions, and how the ground is laid for being disconnect from their inner world.
A man disconnected from his inner world is usually not a pretty sight or very easy to live with. When my male client discover that there is such a thing as an inner world, they absolutely agree that their inner world contains far greater richness than anything they can find in the outer world.
Male acting like a man is nothing more and nothing less than having the courage to be true to himself. This is the hero's journey so often present in mythology, fairy tales, and on the movie screens. Rather than slaying dragons, aliens, or enemies, the real challenge for most men in today's society is to understand the truth of his essential nature and then to vanquish whatever fears would prevent him from acting in accordance with his true Core self.
“Who you are has a tremendous impact not only on how you impact others but also how you carry yourself in day-to-day situations and internal beliefs. In transformative coaching we call this your identity and it cascades its way down through beliefs, capabilities, behaviors, and your environment. You can imagine how much of an impact internal work has an influence on your world... and then everyone else's world!"
Dr. Connirae Andreas
Whether a person is in a top-performer space, wanting to start a new life chapter, or committed to doing life differently – it’s difficult to do it alone.
TRANSFORMATIVE JOURNEY WITH NELL
I’m very intuitive in my work with people and devoted to deep, transformative work. As with any deep partnerships, it is built on commitment, trust, vulnerability, and integrity. Transformative journey with me is not about business coaching, strategy, discipline, willpower, or positive thinking. It’s a natural, powerful inner process that connects us with our genius Core and with our inner wisdom and propels us into true fulfillment.
If you are a change-maker and curious to explore Core-Transformation and see for yourself how this unfolds in your life, I am ready to support you to get into your true zone.
Everything starts with a conversation, so please feel free to book a 15-minute clarity call with me here.
I look forward to getting to know you.
Wellpreneur, Positive Psychology and Core-Transformation® Coach
About Transformative Journey:
Strong and wise leaders become a force multiplier within society and organizations, expanding and adding on to the wellbeing of people around them. Transformative work, cultivates inner power, wisdom, resilience, and stability within, helping us achieve meaningful growth. By aligning their efforts with their true Authentic Core, they infuse their actions with inner wisdom, genuine passion, true purpose and fulfillment.
Josh Gressel Ph.D. Journal Psychology Today, Psychologytoday.com
Andrew Reine "Teaching Men to Be Emotionally Honest" nytimes.com
Broadway, I. “Moneyball for Mindfulness,” Bloomburg.com
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